a lot.

so my plans for brookhill were changed a bit. i was still in a cabin with girls. there were just 20 of them, instead of 13. and none that were very open. they were very hard to talk to which made it hard on me. i hardly connected with campers at all. the closest i came to feeling fully connected to the kids was on saturday night between the 2 sessions when gabi came to me, crying, and told me about some of the situations of her campers. the burdens were so great that for a while, i wondered what i was getting myself into. it was hard, and i was scared. but i was given a 2nd chance.

on saturday morning, there came an opening to work the next week. so immediately i jumped on that, of course. my plans changed again... but this time not something i was particularly happy about. steven said, "yes, i am going to use you, but in the kitchen." honestly, i was dissappointed... but i talked to steven and he told me how i could improve. so i took the week as an opppurtunity to work on my attitude. the first week, i was nervous, and too focused, and the joy that is in my heart had a hard time finding it's way out.

steven rebuked me about this, and i am so grateful that he did. halfway through the week, after another counselor told me that they saw my joy diminishing, i had a good long prayer time with God. (while laying in the middle of the parking lot waiting on the igloos to get full...) i didn't understand how in the world i wasn't showing joy. i felt joyful. i felt so blessed and happy to be doing what i was doing. but obviously something wasn't right. i don't think i have fully understood the power of prayer until now. and i know this wasn't a life threatening situation or anything, but it was important to me. immediately i felt something lifted from me. i'm not even sure what it was. but after that i was able to be the awesome, fun kitchen staff girl that i was supposed to be.

in a 10-second-long conversation on thursday night (while filling up igloos again) steven simply said good job, this is an improvement. that is all he needed to say to lift my spirits.

to make a long story short, somehow, i was able to reach many more kids the 2nd week than i was the first week. which is shocking. considering i wasn't with kids in a cabin, at mealtimes, or in 2 activities during the day. i had 2 activities (drama: yesss. and tennis: ahaha. that was hilarious). and canteen. that was really the only time i had to connect with campers. but obviously they saw something in me that drew them to me.

on saturday morning, campers have the oppurtunity to stand up and thank any counselor they has touched them during the week. my name was mentioned 3 times. which is 3 times more than the previous week. honestly, that made everything that had happened in the past 2 weeks so worth it. for a kitchen staff to get mentioned is cool, but 3 times. i was shocked. and i'm not saying this to glorify myself. not at all. i just realized how much God can do in such a short time. and seen how the power of prayer has been revealed in my life. and when the graduate in my drama acitvity maddie stood up and said, "... i also want to thank avery for making this a fantastic week." i'm not going to lie, i almost lost it. that meant so much more to me than a "thanks for the advice" or "thanks for praying with me." it showed me that she actually felt the joy of the Lord through me.

and now, as i sit here, crying, thinking over the past two weeks. again, i wonder what i've gotten myself into. but that's not a bad thing. i am curious as to what all i will be able to tap in to in the future at Brookhill. i am curious to find out what campers i will be able to minister to when i go back in a week. i am also curious to see what else the Lord will teach me.

thanks for your time.
i just needed to get that out there.