random facts about me

okay, so this is that facebook note that has been going around, and there's just more than 16 things that i wanted to say... i did the 16 and kept thinking of more to add... so the first 16 are from that note... and the next ones are... well the extra?

1. i am a legit overachiever. well kind of. i really don't care, but somehow i end up doing every extra credit anything i can. i'm not sure why. i don't really even do my normal homework. it's odd. so basically i am the most lazy overachiever you will ever meet.

2. i am a planner. big time. i plan everything. from conversations to how i am going to filling out applications. a lot of things i will plan out days, weeks, even months in advance. and i usually go over things multiple times in my head before i do or say them.

3. i am a complete music junkie. that is why 97% of my facebook notes are lyrics. they hit me really hard, and i guess that deep down inside i think everyone else is affected by them a lot... so that's why i want to share them so much.

4. i don't have unlimited texts and i got over almost every month. i feel kind of bad about it.

5. i am almost obsessed with Brookhill Ranch. yes, i love it so incredibly much... i get to work there for the next few summers (Lord willing) and you have no idea how much that means to me

6. i am an avid watcher of House Hunters (especially the international version.)

7. i am actually one of the most touchy people you will ever meet. i know this is a huge shocker to most, but it's so true. love language = physical touch. all the way. oh and quality time comes in at a close second.

8. i fainted at camp one time. well you see, on friday night i felt sick so i didn't eat dinner (the best food, too! it was sad) and then on saturday morning i guess my blood sugar was low or something because i just fainted... right there in the middle of girls hill. it was bad.

9. my favorite color is yellow-green. my favorite combination is gray & yellow-green

10. i would LOVE to be a graphic designer when i grow up. i am only a sophomore, and i already have a pretty good idea of what i want to do with my life... i know it will probably change a bit... but here it is. i am going to go to OBU, major in graphic design and minor in mass comm. yeahhhhh.

11.starting January 5, my life consists of soccer, school, and church until may. the end.

12. i am scared of the dark, i sleep with lots of lights on. and pretty much FULLY under my blankets. as if they are actually protecting me...

13. in the summer i basically live in boys swimsuit shorts and chacos. i like never take them off...

14. i am really really picky about goodbyes... i'm not sure how to explain that, but just believe me. i guess it's just that i HAVE to say goodbye. and i usually end up saying it more than once...

15. my favorite number is 8 (these are getting shorter and shorter).

16. i am a hopeless romantic. i'm not sure that needs much explaining.

17. going back to number 3, since i love music so much, i really can't listen to much secular music. it kills me. not literally, but yeahh... hopefully you get me.

18. i am currently in the process of refining my itunes library. my actual ipod is how i like it... but there's all this random stuff on the computer library. weird.

19. i am a very jealous person. it's not fun. i think it has to do with quality time being one of my main love languages.

20. i am super careful about my impression on people. i don't obsess over it in an unhealthy way, i just care about it is all...

21. in the winter, almost every day i wear knee-high socks. and they are always really really cool. most of my pairs are actually little girls' tights from walmart that i cut off.

22. i love photography. and i actually like to be in pictures... i'm not sure why, but a lot of people think i don't like taking pictures. it's weird.

23. i can't dance, but i love to. and i sing all the time. which i guess i actually can do. i wish i could dance so bad. oh and i like to rap. (christian rap, of course).

24. i am terrified of heights. i can't stand anywhere near a balcony or anything

25. i love the smell of car air conditioning.

26. i love to paint. and i actually paint like all the time.

27. i love spinach. and hate carrots, yes i'm kind of backwards.

28. i love babies. until they hit age 3. then i don't really like them again until they are about 10.

29. i only listen to my ipod with one headphone. unless i'm attempting to sleep during a long car ride. sometimes in study hall. but usually i listen to it on speakers in my room anyway, so...

30. i can make balloon animals.

31. i am so incredibly terrified of any blade of any kind. this came about when i cut my foot on a boat propeller at the lake and had to get stitches.

32. i read and respond to text messages out loud. and also i am an incredible multi-tasker.

33. i HAVE to wear a watch. i feel so incredibly lost without one...

34. i HATE sneezing.

35. i swish my drinks around in my mouth before i swallow. and i usually don't eat my ice.

36. i do terribly in serious situations. sorry.

okay so this post is going to be completely random. so just bear with me. there is a lot of great stuff going on in my head right now, and i need to put it out there somewhere... facebook notes after a retreat or camp are a little too cliche for me. so this is it.

well i guess what i have to say is that i've never felt this excited about my walk with God. ever. it's so incredible. i'm not really sure how to explain what i mean, but basically it's that i've gotten so close to something i've wanted to accomplish before, and i guess gotten excited too early. this excitement gives me the mindset that i'm there and i can be done. well then i realize that close isn't there. so i work on it some more... and this cycle repeats. it is really weird and i guess har dto come back from a place like Brookhill to my normal family and friends, because the type of relationship is just different, i'm not sure exactly how to explain it... but maybe you understand. hopefully. oh well. man, it's just odd. so that's THAT.

the second: Steven, this morning, read Matthew 7:7 which says "ask and it will be given to you..." you know, that one. well as i was reading along in my Bible, something caught me. My version said, "Keep asking and it will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened to you." this caught me off gaurd, because usually when i read that verse i think something like, "oh, i only have to ask once" or "okay, i don't have to search for too long, it will come." yeah NOT. it's a continuous asking, searching, and knocking... i love that.

part three (and four, i guess): these are two songs that have captivated me lately. they are very different, in content and style. so here they are



1.) While I'm Waiting - John Waller

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

well i guess to explain this, it says that waiting isn't really waiting... we shouldn't ever actually be sitting still and waiting. we should always be worshipping and serving the Lord



2.) How Much - Kelsey Meadows

We used to be so close, you used to grab my hand
My arms were open wide, and that's where you would land
You used to tell me things, that no one else would know
You cried in my arms, cause I would hold you close
But that was long ago, now I never cross your mind
I wish you would scream out so I could make you mine

I am sick for you, I am ill for you
Beaten and conquered Hell for you
I'll be wrong for you, I'm so weak for you
What does it take to get through
How much I love you.

The pain is not moved, now I am not around
You let me sink lower to the ground
So how can it be that you would not miss me?
When I still love you, I love you, oh, the same.
You don't cry out anymore for me
When I'm stading right in front of you
You can not see.

I am sick for you, I am ill for you
Beaten and conquered Hell for you
I'll be wrong for you, I'm so weak for you
What does it take to get through
How much I love you.
I bleed for you, I'll die for you
Be nailed to the cross, crucified for you
I will rise for you, wipe those eyes for you
If that's what it takes to show you
I love you

this was actually written and recorded by one of my friends. it's to great. i listened to it for the first time yesterday in the car on the way home from a wonderful retreat. it was captivating. yeahh. basically.

decisions

life is crazy. and i know i'm probably one of the least stressed people out there. but there are so many decisions to make lately. everyone comes to that time in their life where everything they do will affect pretty much their whole life, yeah that time is now. what classes i'm going to take for j-term, and more importantly, for the rest of high school. then eventually i'll have to choose things like college, MAJOR, courses, whether or not to continue with soccer past high school (i could possibly play at OBU), how many extracurriculars to participate in. right now i guess these decisions are a big deal for me, because i feel like i'm not getting to make them myself. i feel like my parents make many of them for me. and i'm not sure how i feel about that. the main thing is AP courses. yes, i will continue with AP math, because i am good at it, but honestly, what's the point of taking AP history or english or science? espeically if i will get into college without them. and if i want to pursue a career in graphic design, or another type of art, those classes are going to do me no good. other decisions include next summer's activities. i will apply to be a counselor at brookhill, but if i wanted to get a regular job, how much would JC-ing affect that? and will i want to also go on my church's mission trip? who knows... that one isn't a big, because it will probably end up being one of the easier decisions i have to make.

well that's it for decisions... another thing that's big right now is my best friend living 4 1/2 hours away. i will get to see her in two weeks (PRAISE THE LORD!) but i won't see her again until spring break, maybe. and if not then it will have to wait until may at staff training. we will work together and stuff at camp next summer, but then we'll have to part again. i love her and it's hard to not live close to her. oh man.

i guess that's about all for now. i will stop boring you now... thanks.

chaos

so i am sitting here, NOT writing my worldview paper, NOT spending time with my family, and NOT reading the book i was supposed to have finished by now. i feel very... for lack of a better word... lazy. i am sort of working on my paper, just taking breaks to do other things such as this. i am sort of with my family, our house is really one big room. the computer and kitchen and living room are all together. and i am not really reading the book, i have been trying to get to chapter 7 for about a month now... i'm on chapter 6. there is no excuse for that, i know. there is one aspect of my life that i am ahead in. that is college. i know, i know... college searching? as a sophomore? yeah, it's UNHEARDOF. well when i was in rogers with my mom for a work conference, there was a college fair at the hotel, so of course, we went. and i have been set on OBU for a while now. and i still really really love it. but there is this school, William Jewell College... i got an email from them today (they have an admissions counselor that specifically works with high school sophomores). well the school is almost the same as OBU, except it's secular (and in Missouri). and as i read the email, i was caught very off guard, that all of a sudden i am getting emails and brochures from all these colleges, and taking the PSAT (i know it didn't count for anything that time, but it was still intense), and answering all these questions from friends and family about the next 7 or 8 years of my life. the funny thing is, i'm not scared. i know what i want in a college, i know, more or less, what i want to pursue a career in. i know all of those things. but what i don't know is what i'm doing right now. i feel like i'm doing nothing. yes, i am going to school, i do all of my homework, make A's on my tests (most of them) and things like that. but i feel like i'm not doing anything. neither of my best friends live here. one lives close, but it's not close enough. and i feel like since i have them, that my friends here are just no comparison. i'm so close and so similar to those friends, that the people i am around all of the time are just distant to me. i don't like that. why am i telling you this? i'm not sure. i'm not even sure i want to hear this, which i guess is why i'm writing this... but to wrap things up, things are very scattered in my life right now, which i'm sure came out in this post and i'm just trying to get through to the next day without things being too chaotic...

beginning

well i am new at this, obviously. i'm not really quite sure yet what will usually be posted on here, but it will more than likely just be thoughts... just like almost everyone else on here.

so i guess i could explain the title... it's from a song: Burn out Bright by Anberlin. and that's my goal. i want to burn out bright for Christ. the end.

that's all now. i have homework...

avery.