i didn't realize how big of a deal this was.
i've never really written a note in order to express my feelings before. but i just did. after talking to Joyana about everything with my parents, i realized how frustrated i was. she suggested that i write a note so that i could get everything out without interruptions and emotions, and without it having to be a conversation. i have tried having conversations with them, but it's just not working.
i'm pretty much scared to death to give it to them, and i'm not sure how or when i'm going to do it. i just know that it has to be done.
so if you think about it, say a quick prayer for me. and my parents.
i love you all.
3.30.2010
3.23.2010
independence.
one of my older friends put it this way, "haha, this is funny. you are too independent for your parents." i think this comes from there being such a gap in my childhood. there were either adults or toddlers. i had to figure something out. but anyway, that's beside the point.
i'm sure most everyone, sometime in their high school career, feels this way. i'm not sure i remember the last time i made an important decision for myself. and it's frustrating. i think what is triggering this right now is my plans for this summer. i have been praying for months, literally, that God will provide His plan for my life. i got the answer to that prayer in the mail last week. i recieved a piece of paper with five weeks circled. 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. as i rejoiced, i began to realize all the incredible things that are going to happen this summer. i couldn't help but to run around the Winter Park base [this is where i was when i found out]!
as soon as my parents had a chance to, they told me i had to pick one week to work. i didn't respond for a while. i needed a chance to think and pray about it. i did. i simply couldn't come to peace about the whole situation. when i finally talked to them, i realized that it wasn't just camp that i was upset about it. it was everything. the way they don't approve of my prayer meetings. the way the things i do aren't "mainstream" in their words. and, when i told them i had been praying about this, they blew me off.
normal teenagers are only friends with people from school and church, and i should be a normal teenager and be involved in youth group and my school [i am at church more than anyone in my youth group. i just got back from a class trip, and i am going to be the yearbook editor next year].
their other argument is that i need to stay here and work a real job. while i do understand this point, i think that their main problem is that they think i only go to camp for friendships. now, don't get me wrong, the relationships i have made at camp are some of the greatest things that have ever happened to me. i can't even begin to explain the impact many girls have had on my life. but beyond that, working camp was the hardest, most stressful, most insane, most AMAZING thing i have ever done. nothing can beat playing volleyball with a bunch of sixth and seventh graders in the afternoon, only to later have the oppurtunity to pour wisdom into their lives. you guys know, this is one of the best feelings ever. i don't have to explain it any more.
i guess i'm just stuck. i don't know what to do. i guess i would have an easier time giving up this summer if my parents hadn't made it clear that they just "don't like" the fact that most of my best friends are from camp. i guess i just don't understand why on earth they would be disappointed that i want to spend my saturday nights with ten other teenagers praying and worshipping God. it's frustrating. that is all. i am confused. i need prayer.
Jesus, give me strength.
i'm sure most everyone, sometime in their high school career, feels this way. i'm not sure i remember the last time i made an important decision for myself. and it's frustrating. i think what is triggering this right now is my plans for this summer. i have been praying for months, literally, that God will provide His plan for my life. i got the answer to that prayer in the mail last week. i recieved a piece of paper with five weeks circled. 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. as i rejoiced, i began to realize all the incredible things that are going to happen this summer. i couldn't help but to run around the Winter Park base [this is where i was when i found out]!
as soon as my parents had a chance to, they told me i had to pick one week to work. i didn't respond for a while. i needed a chance to think and pray about it. i did. i simply couldn't come to peace about the whole situation. when i finally talked to them, i realized that it wasn't just camp that i was upset about it. it was everything. the way they don't approve of my prayer meetings. the way the things i do aren't "mainstream" in their words. and, when i told them i had been praying about this, they blew me off.
normal teenagers are only friends with people from school and church, and i should be a normal teenager and be involved in youth group and my school [i am at church more than anyone in my youth group. i just got back from a class trip, and i am going to be the yearbook editor next year].
their other argument is that i need to stay here and work a real job. while i do understand this point, i think that their main problem is that they think i only go to camp for friendships. now, don't get me wrong, the relationships i have made at camp are some of the greatest things that have ever happened to me. i can't even begin to explain the impact many girls have had on my life. but beyond that, working camp was the hardest, most stressful, most insane, most AMAZING thing i have ever done. nothing can beat playing volleyball with a bunch of sixth and seventh graders in the afternoon, only to later have the oppurtunity to pour wisdom into their lives. you guys know, this is one of the best feelings ever. i don't have to explain it any more.
i guess i'm just stuck. i don't know what to do. i guess i would have an easier time giving up this summer if my parents hadn't made it clear that they just "don't like" the fact that most of my best friends are from camp. i guess i just don't understand why on earth they would be disappointed that i want to spend my saturday nights with ten other teenagers praying and worshipping God. it's frustrating. that is all. i am confused. i need prayer.
Jesus, give me strength.
3.12.2010
3.08.2010
i can cross one thing off my "to do" list:
slacklining.
this is quite possibly the hardest, MOST LEGIT thing i have ever done. we went saturday AND sunday. saturday i barely managed to stand. and by the end of one hour on sunday i had take TWO, count 'em, TWO steps! blahhhh!
nathan is basically pro. haha not really. but definitely better than everyone else.
cash? yeah, not so much...
this is when i FINALLY stood for about three seconds on saturday. victory!yeah, you should try it sometime.
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