as of late.

"i am the rose, the joy for which You died. and this i know, i move You with delight"

i am in awe of the love that Christ has for us. lately, this love has implanted itself in my brain. i can't stop thinking of the passion and ardor that Jesus has.

"i am my Beloved's and He is mine. so come into Your garden and take delight in me." "He's faithful to the end, He's faithful to my heart, He's faithful to the end, He will come and marry me." "always, You have loved me. ever thinking of me." "...with fire in His eyes, He's jealous for His bride." "there's gonna be a wedding. it's the reason that i'm living. to marry the lamb." "everything You do just screams 'i love you.' what am i that You would love me like you do? who am i that You should care? what is man?"

these are just a few of the lyrics from songs that have been constantly in my head. lately my eyes have been opened to the... well just the passion that Jesus has for His bride, and the desire in His heart for us to share that passion. i'm sorry. i am completely at a loss for words. even through every single one of our faults and our sins, Christ's love never fades. He will always desire for us to be with Him for eternity. there is nothing we can do that will take that away. many times it is hard to walk with Him. i'm not talking about major sins like... i don't know... "bad things." i'm talking about living out the passion that is in our hearts. we so easily get distracted by EVERYTHING around us. i speak for myself as much as, if not more than, everyone else.

but even beyond His love, there is so much more to our relationships with Christ. experiencing His presence, seeing the world through His eyes, seeing the beauty of His grace. ah!

Jesus is just so beautiful! and i've only just caught a glimpse of everything He is capable of. if you read this, you can tell that it is hard for me to express in words what my thoughts are. i just know that, even though going back to school is going to be very difficult (the first day was already hard), i am always going to have something to fall back on. i am going to need the Lord's supernatural strength to stand up and be the torch that i am supposed to be.

i just have so many mixed emotions right now. love, fear, passion, weariness, excitement. ah. i just don't even know what is going on. all i know is i have a really really good feeling about this semester. :] Jesus is so good!


thank you for sticking it out. this isn't where i was trying to go. and really, i didn't go anywhere. so yeah. i just needing to get that out.

p.s. sidenote: Psalm 18? so incredible! i am captivated and just so thankful for everything the Lord has done for us. also, Cory Asbury's song version of it is supagreat.