this is for hannah. there was a point to this story. it's like there is a reoccurring metaphor or something... idk. just... enjoy i guess.
Sadie was walking through her favorite market in Florence. Allesia had already bought the groceries, but as usual, she forgot Sadie's raisins. Since this was normally the case, Sadie took her usual route through the narrow alleys to the end of the marketplace where she stopped at Fredrigo's.
"Good afternoon, Miss Sadie," Fredrigo said almost without an accent. This phrase had almost become a part of his daily routine. "How are you today?"
"I think I am okay."
"Buono. Miss Sadie."
"Mr. Fredrigo?"
"Hm?"
"Tell me something new, Fredrigo."
"Like what? What would you like to know?"
"I want to know something about you. Like, what you were like as a kid."
"Miss Sadie. I was very different than you are. I was very rebellious, very hot-headed, you might say."
"Oh. Your wife, Fredrigo. What was she like?"
"She was very much like you, Miss Sadie. Very quiet, calm. She copes the way that you do. I see a lot of her in you."
"Is this why you are so nice to me?"
"It could be. But also, I see something good in you, something special. It's like, the first time I saw you, I knew I would like you very much."
"Oh."
"Yes."
"So your grapes, is there a secret? You grow them yourself, right?"
"Yes, I do grow them. I have a small vineyard in my yard. It's almost a secret."
"I'd like to see. Can I come see sometime?"
"Sure, Miss Sadie, if that's what you want."
"It is, I would like that very much."
"Okay, then, it's set."
"Okay. You know what?"
"What is that?"
"I used to like grapes. But now I really don't too much. That's odd isn't it?"
"Yes, I guess it is rather odd. Considering how much you like these raisins."
"Yes, I'm not sure why I'm so prejudiced against them, but I guess I am."
"Why is a grape so bad in your perspective?"
"They're just so plump, and pretty, and just all around good."
"I guess I've never thought of it that way."
"Nobody ever has." Sadie turned and looked past the stand that sold bell peppers, olives, and tomatoes at the flowing brownish-bluish waters of the river. Couples in gondolas floated by, the glare of the sun on the water was hypnotizing. Fredrigo looked at her and smiled, drawing memories from the back of his mind.
"So why is it Sadie," she turned back around to look at him, "that I get the feeling that you are sick? And tired of all of this?" He pulled out a bundle of grapes and placed them on top of the counter.
"It's not so much that I'm sick of it, I'm just ready for it to be over and to go away for good. It's terrifying."
"Is it? It doesn't have to be."
Sadie looked at him. She didn't have to say any words; her eyes asked the question for her.
"You don't have to keep doing this. There are other places to go. You have the whole world at your fingertips."
"Oh, do I? It's not like I can just get on a plane and go back. Not that I would even if I could. And I can't just go anywhere else in the world. There are limitations you know."
He didn't need to say anything. She could argue with herself, and she would get it.
He was right. After about 15 minutes of Sadie pacing and glancing out over the river she came back to him.
"Well, where should I go?"
"Wherever you want. This is your life."
The bell rang in the old clock tower across town.
"Well would you look at that. It’s 4 o'clock already."
"Oh! I have to go! Bye, and thank you!"
He watched her run off. She stopped after about thirty feet, then ran back to him.
"Can I have a bundle of grapes?"
He handed the bundle that was on the counter to her with a smile and a nod before she ran off again.
1.07.2009
Too Full to Eat - David Nasser
this is long, but it's so incredible. please read it.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matt 5:6
"You and I are at the banquet table of God's presence and truth, but too often we are so full of junk that we're not hungry. In actuality, spiritually, we are starving to death. We have settled for garbage instead of feasting on the nourishment God richly provides.
Chris Heurtz is a young man who is the head of Word Made Flesh Ministries in India and all around Asia. This ministry provides shelters for homeless people, those with AIDS, and those inflicted with other diseases. Years ago when he was a college student, Chris went to Calcutta to work with Mother Teresa at the House of the Dying. Calcutta and Mexico City are the largest cities in the world, but Calcutta is the poorest. Most of the thirteen million people there are destitute. Air pollution is oppressive. Poverty and disease are the way of life -- and death -- for most people. Every morning city maintenance workers find bodies on the sidewalk and in the street of those who died during the night. At the House of the Dying, Chris's job was to look for dying people on the street and bring them in to give them a place to die with dignity. Their goal was not to cure these people. It was to give them a dignified place to die. Chris and his fellow workers lovingly cared for them, gave them a good meal, and shared the Gospel with them so they could die in peace.
In Calcutta, 70% of the homeless population have the lung disease of tuberculosis. When you walk down the street, you thousands of old men and women coughing up their lungs. Day after day, hour after hour. Chris's ministry was to find those who had only hours or days to live and invite them, "Come with me. I'll give you a place to lie down." Upon arrival, their heads were shaved, and they were given a shower and a bowl of hot food. Chris then replaced their ragged, soiled clothes with clean ones. There, these men and women say with other dying people who coughed their lungs out into a jar that was passed around. When it was full, the jar was thrown into the garbage with the soiled clothes and infested hair.
Lepers came in with their flesh rotting and their noses, fingers, and toes missing. Their clothes had the stink of rotted flesh. At the House of the Dying, Chris and the other ministers washed these lepers' skin and gave them clean clothes to wear. The job of one of the workers was to stick a syringe into their pus-filled sores and extract the poisonous disease. Each syringe was used for person after person and day after day until it was too dull to pierce skin. Then it was thrown into the garbage can.
Children infected with AIDS, usually girls about four or five years old, were brought to the House of the Dying. How did these little girls get AIDS? By a blood transfusion? No. The dominant faith in India is the Hindu religion. One sect of the Hindus believes their men can get rid of a sexually transmitted disease by sleeping with a virgin—that means a four or five year old child. Many children older than this are already prostitutes. Chris Heurtz brought these children from the streets, and he listen to their screams and weeping. Chris once said, "We prayed the crying wouldn't stop, because their crying meant they were still alive." Lepers, children with AIDS, men and women with terminal tuberculosis—those were the ones Chris and his partners at the House of the Dying looked for each day. That's a far cry from out neat and clean existence, isn't it? At first, the disease and death would gross anybody out, but after a while, Chris saw hurting people in desperate need, not ugly people who interrupted his life.
Chris said, "One thing I begged not to do was taking out the garbage. The stench was almost unbearable. Can you imagine the disease, ragged clothing, and half-eaten food? I begged them not to ask me to do it. It haunted me forever after the first time I took out the garbage. As soon as we walked out the back door toward the dump, children camp out of the alleys and ripped open the bags to get whatever was there. I yelled, 'Don't east this garbage! It's full of disease and death!' But they were so hungry that they ate garbage because that was all they could find. They had no other choice. I wept was I saw them scramble through the spilled jars of disease, the clothing stained with rotten flesh, and used syringes, trying to get scraps of last night's dinner that a dying person didn't eat." Disturbing image, isn't it?! But in all honesty, how far are we from this spiritually? Can you see yourself feasting at the dumpster of this world?
Many of us are like those kids scrambling for garbage. We elbow each other at the mall, at the theater, in the back seat, at home, at work, on the net, and at school in our hunger for food, but the food we lunge and fight for is rotten and diseased—and we eat it. We eat it every time we fill our minds and hearts with sexually suggestive movies or music, every time we live to get revenge on someone who has hurt us, and every time we sty to put things in God's place in our hearts. We are so full of this junk that we aren't hungry for the food that really satisfies and nourishes. Sure, we may listen to a message or a song about God, and that message has as much appeal as another bite of pizza then we are so full we're about to explode. Our souls are so full of garbage that we don't even recognize our need for God's food.
It is a spiritual paradox that when we are thirsty for God and we drink, he satisfies us and yet leaves us thirsting for him even more. When we are hungry for God and eat his nourishing word, we are refreshingly satisfied and yet we are hungry for much more. Augustine said, "You have made us for yourself, O God, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." This is the same perspective that the prophet Jeremiah spoke: "When your words came, I hate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight. For I bear Your name, O Lord God Almighty." (Jeremiah 15:16). Eating requires intention, selection, and effort. We don't eat by being in the same room with food. We don't take in the grace and truth of God by being in a sanctuary or at a retreat. We have to take initiative to eat because we recognize our need for the spiritual nourishment it can provide. We also need to be very selective when sifting through the potions given to us by the world. Think of how many foods there are in the grocery store. You have lots of options! You have lots of options to eat spiritually, too—but remember, some of the foods you eat will poison you. It takes effort. Hear, read, study, memorize and meditate on the word of God.
Jeremiah had one other insight about "eating God's word." He realized that it only made sense for him to eat it because he bore God's name. We are God's. We call ourselves "Christians." We call him Lord, Savior, Father, and Friend. In many places in the Scriptures, we read that God provides a banquet for his people. God's banquet doesn't have flat Coke and leftover Spaghetti-O's! It has the finest, richest, most delicious spiritual food we can ever eat! When we eat it, we are filled with the love, peace, joy, and strength God richly provides. Nothing even compares!
So why are we so content to keep running out in the alley to rip open the garbage bags of this world to eat that poison? It just doesn't make sense."
-David Nasser
I know that was long, but it was SO GOOD. We read this today in the girls' discipleship j-term class. (I read outloud because no one else wanted to. I think if there was one reason God gave me a love for reading outloud, it was so I would get something out of this story.) well anyway, the fact that I read it instead of just listened to it made me realize a lot. It was not the most comfortable story to read. The story was so detailed that you knew it was true, and it made it easier to feel some of what these workers were experiencing. It made me just uncomfortable enough to stop and think about what he David Nasser (the author) was saying. Some of the garbage we fill ourselves with can be in relationships, possessions, or in our ambitions or goals. I'm not saying these things are bad for you, because they absolutely are not. It's just that a lot of times, we don't enter into these things with a strictly Godly mindset. If we don't use these things the right way (which might be ambiguous at times) they can poison us. The ambiguity of these things makes our pursuit difficult. It's sometimes difficult to enter with Godly intentions. The only thing that can keep us away from the garbage is God's word. During discussion we were asked to share a "time when God's truth and grace was a 'joy and a delight to your heart.'" It was cool to hear the different stories of when people experienced the truth of God's word in their lives. The devotion ended with Psalm 56:3-4 which says, "When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matt 5:6
"You and I are at the banquet table of God's presence and truth, but too often we are so full of junk that we're not hungry. In actuality, spiritually, we are starving to death. We have settled for garbage instead of feasting on the nourishment God richly provides.
Chris Heurtz is a young man who is the head of Word Made Flesh Ministries in India and all around Asia. This ministry provides shelters for homeless people, those with AIDS, and those inflicted with other diseases. Years ago when he was a college student, Chris went to Calcutta to work with Mother Teresa at the House of the Dying. Calcutta and Mexico City are the largest cities in the world, but Calcutta is the poorest. Most of the thirteen million people there are destitute. Air pollution is oppressive. Poverty and disease are the way of life -- and death -- for most people. Every morning city maintenance workers find bodies on the sidewalk and in the street of those who died during the night. At the House of the Dying, Chris's job was to look for dying people on the street and bring them in to give them a place to die with dignity. Their goal was not to cure these people. It was to give them a dignified place to die. Chris and his fellow workers lovingly cared for them, gave them a good meal, and shared the Gospel with them so they could die in peace.
In Calcutta, 70% of the homeless population have the lung disease of tuberculosis. When you walk down the street, you thousands of old men and women coughing up their lungs. Day after day, hour after hour. Chris's ministry was to find those who had only hours or days to live and invite them, "Come with me. I'll give you a place to lie down." Upon arrival, their heads were shaved, and they were given a shower and a bowl of hot food. Chris then replaced their ragged, soiled clothes with clean ones. There, these men and women say with other dying people who coughed their lungs out into a jar that was passed around. When it was full, the jar was thrown into the garbage with the soiled clothes and infested hair.
Lepers came in with their flesh rotting and their noses, fingers, and toes missing. Their clothes had the stink of rotted flesh. At the House of the Dying, Chris and the other ministers washed these lepers' skin and gave them clean clothes to wear. The job of one of the workers was to stick a syringe into their pus-filled sores and extract the poisonous disease. Each syringe was used for person after person and day after day until it was too dull to pierce skin. Then it was thrown into the garbage can.
Children infected with AIDS, usually girls about four or five years old, were brought to the House of the Dying. How did these little girls get AIDS? By a blood transfusion? No. The dominant faith in India is the Hindu religion. One sect of the Hindus believes their men can get rid of a sexually transmitted disease by sleeping with a virgin—that means a four or five year old child. Many children older than this are already prostitutes. Chris Heurtz brought these children from the streets, and he listen to their screams and weeping. Chris once said, "We prayed the crying wouldn't stop, because their crying meant they were still alive." Lepers, children with AIDS, men and women with terminal tuberculosis—those were the ones Chris and his partners at the House of the Dying looked for each day. That's a far cry from out neat and clean existence, isn't it? At first, the disease and death would gross anybody out, but after a while, Chris saw hurting people in desperate need, not ugly people who interrupted his life.
Chris said, "One thing I begged not to do was taking out the garbage. The stench was almost unbearable. Can you imagine the disease, ragged clothing, and half-eaten food? I begged them not to ask me to do it. It haunted me forever after the first time I took out the garbage. As soon as we walked out the back door toward the dump, children camp out of the alleys and ripped open the bags to get whatever was there. I yelled, 'Don't east this garbage! It's full of disease and death!' But they were so hungry that they ate garbage because that was all they could find. They had no other choice. I wept was I saw them scramble through the spilled jars of disease, the clothing stained with rotten flesh, and used syringes, trying to get scraps of last night's dinner that a dying person didn't eat." Disturbing image, isn't it?! But in all honesty, how far are we from this spiritually? Can you see yourself feasting at the dumpster of this world?
Many of us are like those kids scrambling for garbage. We elbow each other at the mall, at the theater, in the back seat, at home, at work, on the net, and at school in our hunger for food, but the food we lunge and fight for is rotten and diseased—and we eat it. We eat it every time we fill our minds and hearts with sexually suggestive movies or music, every time we live to get revenge on someone who has hurt us, and every time we sty to put things in God's place in our hearts. We are so full of this junk that we aren't hungry for the food that really satisfies and nourishes. Sure, we may listen to a message or a song about God, and that message has as much appeal as another bite of pizza then we are so full we're about to explode. Our souls are so full of garbage that we don't even recognize our need for God's food.
It is a spiritual paradox that when we are thirsty for God and we drink, he satisfies us and yet leaves us thirsting for him even more. When we are hungry for God and eat his nourishing word, we are refreshingly satisfied and yet we are hungry for much more. Augustine said, "You have made us for yourself, O God, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." This is the same perspective that the prophet Jeremiah spoke: "When your words came, I hate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight. For I bear Your name, O Lord God Almighty." (Jeremiah 15:16). Eating requires intention, selection, and effort. We don't eat by being in the same room with food. We don't take in the grace and truth of God by being in a sanctuary or at a retreat. We have to take initiative to eat because we recognize our need for the spiritual nourishment it can provide. We also need to be very selective when sifting through the potions given to us by the world. Think of how many foods there are in the grocery store. You have lots of options! You have lots of options to eat spiritually, too—but remember, some of the foods you eat will poison you. It takes effort. Hear, read, study, memorize and meditate on the word of God.
Jeremiah had one other insight about "eating God's word." He realized that it only made sense for him to eat it because he bore God's name. We are God's. We call ourselves "Christians." We call him Lord, Savior, Father, and Friend. In many places in the Scriptures, we read that God provides a banquet for his people. God's banquet doesn't have flat Coke and leftover Spaghetti-O's! It has the finest, richest, most delicious spiritual food we can ever eat! When we eat it, we are filled with the love, peace, joy, and strength God richly provides. Nothing even compares!
So why are we so content to keep running out in the alley to rip open the garbage bags of this world to eat that poison? It just doesn't make sense."
-David Nasser
I know that was long, but it was SO GOOD. We read this today in the girls' discipleship j-term class. (I read outloud because no one else wanted to. I think if there was one reason God gave me a love for reading outloud, it was so I would get something out of this story.) well anyway, the fact that I read it instead of just listened to it made me realize a lot. It was not the most comfortable story to read. The story was so detailed that you knew it was true, and it made it easier to feel some of what these workers were experiencing. It made me just uncomfortable enough to stop and think about what he David Nasser (the author) was saying. Some of the garbage we fill ourselves with can be in relationships, possessions, or in our ambitions or goals. I'm not saying these things are bad for you, because they absolutely are not. It's just that a lot of times, we don't enter into these things with a strictly Godly mindset. If we don't use these things the right way (which might be ambiguous at times) they can poison us. The ambiguity of these things makes our pursuit difficult. It's sometimes difficult to enter with Godly intentions. The only thing that can keep us away from the garbage is God's word. During discussion we were asked to share a "time when God's truth and grace was a 'joy and a delight to your heart.'" It was cool to hear the different stories of when people experienced the truth of God's word in their lives. The devotion ended with Psalm 56:3-4 which says, "When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
12.08.2008
random facts about me
okay, so this is that facebook note that has been going around, and there's just more than 16 things that i wanted to say... i did the 16 and kept thinking of more to add... so the first 16 are from that note... and the next ones are... well the extra?
1. i am a legit overachiever. well kind of. i really don't care, but somehow i end up doing every extra credit anything i can. i'm not sure why. i don't really even do my normal homework. it's odd. so basically i am the most lazy overachiever you will ever meet.
2. i am a planner. big time. i plan everything. from conversations to how i am going to filling out applications. a lot of things i will plan out days, weeks, even months in advance. and i usually go over things multiple times in my head before i do or say them.
3. i am a complete music junkie. that is why 97% of my facebook notes are lyrics. they hit me really hard, and i guess that deep down inside i think everyone else is affected by them a lot... so that's why i want to share them so much.
4. i don't have unlimited texts and i got over almost every month. i feel kind of bad about it.
5. i am almost obsessed with Brookhill Ranch. yes, i love it so incredibly much... i get to work there for the next few summers (Lord willing) and you have no idea how much that means to me
6. i am an avid watcher of House Hunters (especially the international version.)
7. i am actually one of the most touchy people you will ever meet. i know this is a huge shocker to most, but it's so true. love language = physical touch. all the way. oh and quality time comes in at a close second.
8. i fainted at camp one time. well you see, on friday night i felt sick so i didn't eat dinner (the best food, too! it was sad) and then on saturday morning i guess my blood sugar was low or something because i just fainted... right there in the middle of girls hill. it was bad.
9. my favorite color is yellow-green. my favorite combination is gray & yellow-green
10. i would LOVE to be a graphic designer when i grow up. i am only a sophomore, and i already have a pretty good idea of what i want to do with my life... i know it will probably change a bit... but here it is. i am going to go to OBU, major in graphic design and minor in mass comm. yeahhhhh.
11.starting January 5, my life consists of soccer, school, and church until may. the end.
12. i am scared of the dark, i sleep with lots of lights on. and pretty much FULLY under my blankets. as if they are actually protecting me...
13. in the summer i basically live in boys swimsuit shorts and chacos. i like never take them off...
14. i am really really picky about goodbyes... i'm not sure how to explain that, but just believe me. i guess it's just that i HAVE to say goodbye. and i usually end up saying it more than once...
15. my favorite number is 8 (these are getting shorter and shorter).
16. i am a hopeless romantic. i'm not sure that needs much explaining.
17. going back to number 3, since i love music so much, i really can't listen to much secular music. it kills me. not literally, but yeahh... hopefully you get me.
18. i am currently in the process of refining my itunes library. my actual ipod is how i like it... but there's all this random stuff on the computer library. weird.
19. i am a very jealous person. it's not fun. i think it has to do with quality time being one of my main love languages.
20. i am super careful about my impression on people. i don't obsess over it in an unhealthy way, i just care about it is all...
21. in the winter, almost every day i wear knee-high socks. and they are always really really cool. most of my pairs are actually little girls' tights from walmart that i cut off.
22. i love photography. and i actually like to be in pictures... i'm not sure why, but a lot of people think i don't like taking pictures. it's weird.
23. i can't dance, but i love to. and i sing all the time. which i guess i actually can do. i wish i could dance so bad. oh and i like to rap. (christian rap, of course).
24. i am terrified of heights. i can't stand anywhere near a balcony or anything
25. i love the smell of car air conditioning.
26. i love to paint. and i actually paint like all the time.
27. i love spinach. and hate carrots, yes i'm kind of backwards.
28. i love babies. until they hit age 3. then i don't really like them again until they are about 10.
29. i only listen to my ipod with one headphone. unless i'm attempting to sleep during a long car ride. sometimes in study hall. but usually i listen to it on speakers in my room anyway, so...
30. i can make balloon animals.
31. i am so incredibly terrified of any blade of any kind. this came about when i cut my foot on a boat propeller at the lake and had to get stitches.
32. i read and respond to text messages out loud. and also i am an incredible multi-tasker.
33. i HAVE to wear a watch. i feel so incredibly lost without one...
34. i HATE sneezing.
35. i swish my drinks around in my mouth before i swallow. and i usually don't eat my ice.
36. i do terribly in serious situations. sorry.
1. i am a legit overachiever. well kind of. i really don't care, but somehow i end up doing every extra credit anything i can. i'm not sure why. i don't really even do my normal homework. it's odd. so basically i am the most lazy overachiever you will ever meet.
2. i am a planner. big time. i plan everything. from conversations to how i am going to filling out applications. a lot of things i will plan out days, weeks, even months in advance. and i usually go over things multiple times in my head before i do or say them.
3. i am a complete music junkie. that is why 97% of my facebook notes are lyrics. they hit me really hard, and i guess that deep down inside i think everyone else is affected by them a lot... so that's why i want to share them so much.
4. i don't have unlimited texts and i got over almost every month. i feel kind of bad about it.
5. i am almost obsessed with Brookhill Ranch. yes, i love it so incredibly much... i get to work there for the next few summers (Lord willing) and you have no idea how much that means to me
6. i am an avid watcher of House Hunters (especially the international version.)
7. i am actually one of the most touchy people you will ever meet. i know this is a huge shocker to most, but it's so true. love language = physical touch. all the way. oh and quality time comes in at a close second.
8. i fainted at camp one time. well you see, on friday night i felt sick so i didn't eat dinner (the best food, too! it was sad) and then on saturday morning i guess my blood sugar was low or something because i just fainted... right there in the middle of girls hill. it was bad.
9. my favorite color is yellow-green. my favorite combination is gray & yellow-green
10. i would LOVE to be a graphic designer when i grow up. i am only a sophomore, and i already have a pretty good idea of what i want to do with my life... i know it will probably change a bit... but here it is. i am going to go to OBU, major in graphic design and minor in mass comm. yeahhhhh.
11.starting January 5, my life consists of soccer, school, and church until may. the end.
12. i am scared of the dark, i sleep with lots of lights on. and pretty much FULLY under my blankets. as if they are actually protecting me...
13. in the summer i basically live in boys swimsuit shorts and chacos. i like never take them off...
14. i am really really picky about goodbyes... i'm not sure how to explain that, but just believe me. i guess it's just that i HAVE to say goodbye. and i usually end up saying it more than once...
15. my favorite number is 8 (these are getting shorter and shorter).
16. i am a hopeless romantic. i'm not sure that needs much explaining.
17. going back to number 3, since i love music so much, i really can't listen to much secular music. it kills me. not literally, but yeahh... hopefully you get me.
18. i am currently in the process of refining my itunes library. my actual ipod is how i like it... but there's all this random stuff on the computer library. weird.
19. i am a very jealous person. it's not fun. i think it has to do with quality time being one of my main love languages.
20. i am super careful about my impression on people. i don't obsess over it in an unhealthy way, i just care about it is all...
21. in the winter, almost every day i wear knee-high socks. and they are always really really cool. most of my pairs are actually little girls' tights from walmart that i cut off.
22. i love photography. and i actually like to be in pictures... i'm not sure why, but a lot of people think i don't like taking pictures. it's weird.
23. i can't dance, but i love to. and i sing all the time. which i guess i actually can do. i wish i could dance so bad. oh and i like to rap. (christian rap, of course).
24. i am terrified of heights. i can't stand anywhere near a balcony or anything
25. i love the smell of car air conditioning.
26. i love to paint. and i actually paint like all the time.
27. i love spinach. and hate carrots, yes i'm kind of backwards.
28. i love babies. until they hit age 3. then i don't really like them again until they are about 10.
29. i only listen to my ipod with one headphone. unless i'm attempting to sleep during a long car ride. sometimes in study hall. but usually i listen to it on speakers in my room anyway, so...
30. i can make balloon animals.
31. i am so incredibly terrified of any blade of any kind. this came about when i cut my foot on a boat propeller at the lake and had to get stitches.
32. i read and respond to text messages out loud. and also i am an incredible multi-tasker.
33. i HAVE to wear a watch. i feel so incredibly lost without one...
34. i HATE sneezing.
35. i swish my drinks around in my mouth before i swallow. and i usually don't eat my ice.
36. i do terribly in serious situations. sorry.
11.30.2008
okay so this post is going to be completely random. so just bear with me. there is a lot of great stuff going on in my head right now, and i need to put it out there somewhere... facebook notes after a retreat or camp are a little too cliche for me. so this is it.
well i guess what i have to say is that i've never felt this excited about my walk with God. ever. it's so incredible. i'm not really sure how to explain what i mean, but basically it's that i've gotten so close to something i've wanted to accomplish before, and i guess gotten excited too early. this excitement gives me the mindset that i'm there and i can be done. well then i realize that close isn't there. so i work on it some more... and this cycle repeats. it is really weird and i guess har dto come back from a place like Brookhill to my normal family and friends, because the type of relationship is just different, i'm not sure exactly how to explain it... but maybe you understand. hopefully. oh well. man, it's just odd. so that's THAT.
the second: Steven, this morning, read Matthew 7:7 which says "ask and it will be given to you..." you know, that one. well as i was reading along in my Bible, something caught me. My version said, "Keep asking and it will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened to you." this caught me off gaurd, because usually when i read that verse i think something like, "oh, i only have to ask once" or "okay, i don't have to search for too long, it will come." yeah NOT. it's a continuous asking, searching, and knocking... i love that.
part three (and four, i guess): these are two songs that have captivated me lately. they are very different, in content and style. so here they are
1.) While I'm Waiting - John Waller
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
well i guess to explain this, it says that waiting isn't really waiting... we shouldn't ever actually be sitting still and waiting. we should always be worshipping and serving the Lord
2.) How Much - Kelsey Meadows
We used to be so close, you used to grab my hand
My arms were open wide, and that's where you would land
You used to tell me things, that no one else would know
You cried in my arms, cause I would hold you close
But that was long ago, now I never cross your mind
I wish you would scream out so I could make you mine
I am sick for you, I am ill for you
Beaten and conquered Hell for you
I'll be wrong for you, I'm so weak for you
What does it take to get through
How much I love you.
The pain is not moved, now I am not around
You let me sink lower to the ground
So how can it be that you would not miss me?
When I still love you, I love you, oh, the same.
You don't cry out anymore for me
When I'm stading right in front of you
You can not see.
I am sick for you, I am ill for you
Beaten and conquered Hell for you
I'll be wrong for you, I'm so weak for you
What does it take to get through
How much I love you.
I bleed for you, I'll die for you
Be nailed to the cross, crucified for you
I will rise for you, wipe those eyes for you
If that's what it takes to show you
I love you
this was actually written and recorded by one of my friends. it's to great. i listened to it for the first time yesterday in the car on the way home from a wonderful retreat. it was captivating. yeahh. basically.
well i guess what i have to say is that i've never felt this excited about my walk with God. ever. it's so incredible. i'm not really sure how to explain what i mean, but basically it's that i've gotten so close to something i've wanted to accomplish before, and i guess gotten excited too early. this excitement gives me the mindset that i'm there and i can be done. well then i realize that close isn't there. so i work on it some more... and this cycle repeats. it is really weird and i guess har dto come back from a place like Brookhill to my normal family and friends, because the type of relationship is just different, i'm not sure exactly how to explain it... but maybe you understand. hopefully. oh well. man, it's just odd. so that's THAT.
the second: Steven, this morning, read Matthew 7:7 which says "ask and it will be given to you..." you know, that one. well as i was reading along in my Bible, something caught me. My version said, "Keep asking and it will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened to you." this caught me off gaurd, because usually when i read that verse i think something like, "oh, i only have to ask once" or "okay, i don't have to search for too long, it will come." yeah NOT. it's a continuous asking, searching, and knocking... i love that.
part three (and four, i guess): these are two songs that have captivated me lately. they are very different, in content and style. so here they are
1.) While I'm Waiting - John Waller
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
well i guess to explain this, it says that waiting isn't really waiting... we shouldn't ever actually be sitting still and waiting. we should always be worshipping and serving the Lord
2.) How Much - Kelsey Meadows
We used to be so close, you used to grab my hand
My arms were open wide, and that's where you would land
You used to tell me things, that no one else would know
You cried in my arms, cause I would hold you close
But that was long ago, now I never cross your mind
I wish you would scream out so I could make you mine
I am sick for you, I am ill for you
Beaten and conquered Hell for you
I'll be wrong for you, I'm so weak for you
What does it take to get through
How much I love you.
The pain is not moved, now I am not around
You let me sink lower to the ground
So how can it be that you would not miss me?
When I still love you, I love you, oh, the same.
You don't cry out anymore for me
When I'm stading right in front of you
You can not see.
I am sick for you, I am ill for you
Beaten and conquered Hell for you
I'll be wrong for you, I'm so weak for you
What does it take to get through
How much I love you.
I bleed for you, I'll die for you
Be nailed to the cross, crucified for you
I will rise for you, wipe those eyes for you
If that's what it takes to show you
I love you
this was actually written and recorded by one of my friends. it's to great. i listened to it for the first time yesterday in the car on the way home from a wonderful retreat. it was captivating. yeahh. basically.
11.13.2008
decisions
life is crazy. and i know i'm probably one of the least stressed people out there. but there are so many decisions to make lately. everyone comes to that time in their life where everything they do will affect pretty much their whole life, yeah that time is now. what classes i'm going to take for j-term, and more importantly, for the rest of high school. then eventually i'll have to choose things like college, MAJOR, courses, whether or not to continue with soccer past high school (i could possibly play at OBU), how many extracurriculars to participate in. right now i guess these decisions are a big deal for me, because i feel like i'm not getting to make them myself. i feel like my parents make many of them for me. and i'm not sure how i feel about that. the main thing is AP courses. yes, i will continue with AP math, because i am good at it, but honestly, what's the point of taking AP history or english or science? espeically if i will get into college without them. and if i want to pursue a career in graphic design, or another type of art, those classes are going to do me no good. other decisions include next summer's activities. i will apply to be a counselor at brookhill, but if i wanted to get a regular job, how much would JC-ing affect that? and will i want to also go on my church's mission trip? who knows... that one isn't a big, because it will probably end up being one of the easier decisions i have to make.
well that's it for decisions... another thing that's big right now is my best friend living 4 1/2 hours away. i will get to see her in two weeks (PRAISE THE LORD!) but i won't see her again until spring break, maybe. and if not then it will have to wait until may at staff training. we will work together and stuff at camp next summer, but then we'll have to part again. i love her and it's hard to not live close to her. oh man.
i guess that's about all for now. i will stop boring you now... thanks.
well that's it for decisions... another thing that's big right now is my best friend living 4 1/2 hours away. i will get to see her in two weeks (PRAISE THE LORD!) but i won't see her again until spring break, maybe. and if not then it will have to wait until may at staff training. we will work together and stuff at camp next summer, but then we'll have to part again. i love her and it's hard to not live close to her. oh man.
i guess that's about all for now. i will stop boring you now... thanks.
10.23.2008
chaos
so i am sitting here, NOT writing my worldview paper, NOT spending time with my family, and NOT reading the book i was supposed to have finished by now. i feel very... for lack of a better word... lazy. i am sort of working on my paper, just taking breaks to do other things such as this. i am sort of with my family, our house is really one big room. the computer and kitchen and living room are all together. and i am not really reading the book, i have been trying to get to chapter 7 for about a month now... i'm on chapter 6. there is no excuse for that, i know. there is one aspect of my life that i am ahead in. that is college. i know, i know... college searching? as a sophomore? yeah, it's UNHEARDOF. well when i was in rogers with my mom for a work conference, there was a college fair at the hotel, so of course, we went. and i have been set on OBU for a while now. and i still really really love it. but there is this school, William Jewell College... i got an email from them today (they have an admissions counselor that specifically works with high school sophomores). well the school is almost the same as OBU, except it's secular (and in Missouri). and as i read the email, i was caught very off guard, that all of a sudden i am getting emails and brochures from all these colleges, and taking the PSAT (i know it didn't count for anything that time, but it was still intense), and answering all these questions from friends and family about the next 7 or 8 years of my life. the funny thing is, i'm not scared. i know what i want in a college, i know, more or less, what i want to pursue a career in. i know all of those things. but what i don't know is what i'm doing right now. i feel like i'm doing nothing. yes, i am going to school, i do all of my homework, make A's on my tests (most of them) and things like that. but i feel like i'm not doing anything. neither of my best friends live here. one lives close, but it's not close enough. and i feel like since i have them, that my friends here are just no comparison. i'm so close and so similar to those friends, that the people i am around all of the time are just distant to me. i don't like that. why am i telling you this? i'm not sure. i'm not even sure i want to hear this, which i guess is why i'm writing this... but to wrap things up, things are very scattered in my life right now, which i'm sure came out in this post and i'm just trying to get through to the next day without things being too chaotic...
10.20.2008
beginning
well i am new at this, obviously. i'm not really quite sure yet what will usually be posted on here, but it will more than likely just be thoughts... just like almost everyone else on here.
so i guess i could explain the title... it's from a song: Burn out Bright by Anberlin. and that's my goal. i want to burn out bright for Christ. the end.
that's all now. i have homework...
avery.
so i guess i could explain the title... it's from a song: Burn out Bright by Anberlin. and that's my goal. i want to burn out bright for Christ. the end.
that's all now. i have homework...
avery.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)