worship.

if you haven't ever had the chance to experience a live worship concert, i highly reccomend it. having just gotten home from seeing Hillsong live, i am energized and want to share some things with you. one recurring theme of the songs was an image of Christ's death on the cross. i mean, obviously, this is a very general and, for lack of a better word, popular image in Christianity. but i don't remember ever realizing how often we sing songs about it. in any case, i don't believe we think about the crucifixion often enough in worship. the image is horrifying and beautiful at the same time. just to sing the captivting words was incredible.

the second thing i noticed was how many of their songs talked about praise. praise being all we desire, all we do, what we excel at. we are expected to show others the love of Christ, through our actions. it was amazing to be able to jump up and down, dnce, shout, and all out worship God without worries. this is what everyday should be like. we shouldn't be afraid to do something completely random and spontaneous for the Lord and stand out among those around us.

at one point in the service, Darlene took time to pray for all the people in the room who were involved in some sort of musical worship leading. whether it be singing, playing an instrument, dancing, producing, songwriting. it was really neat to feel the presence of God anointing our worship leading and everything we are doing. anytime we are specifically prayed over, there is something that envelops us. it was inspiring for that certain aspect of our lives to be prayed over by her. i mean, worship is what she does for a living. and she is praying for US. it just goes to show how much God cares about every little thing we do.

okay well after that, i am completely worn out. worship drains me. but i must move on to my calulus homework.


song for this post: Tear Down the Walls by Hillsong (yes this is just a coincidence).

the healing within

okay so the title isn't permanent i just can't quite think of one. but anyway. this is for a creative writing assignment from aplit to go along with A Separate Peace. also: the names and flowers have certain meanings, they weren't just picked randomly. yes, i am that deep. haha and it was complete coincidence that the girls' name i gabi.


There was a flower. One lone evening primrose reaching up through the snow. With your hand in mine we walked. We walked and talked. We fell in love. I know we fell in love because the moment was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. The chilling cold and biting winds meant nothing to us. As we walked close together through the wilderness of Montana, we experienced life and magic. If I grew tired, you held me in your arms. If I talked, you listened. That afternoon secured my hopes and dreams. Do you remember? I hope you do. It was then we discovered true love.

After that moment we were changed. We didn’t stop or slow down or grow weary. We trudged on through the fresh snow, soft and beautiful… and deceiving. Another flower. They became more frequent and more beautiful, overcoming the harsh surroundings. I was captivated; I almost didn’t notice your stopping so abruptly. Looking around, I saw a change in the terrain. With no warning we had stumbled across beauty and peace itself: a hidden haven among the cold, acres of flowers spread out before our eyes. The flowing yellow fields seemed to last forever, but were our eyes playing tricks on us? Almost as soon as we began to slowly make our way through the field, stopping to dance, to sing, and to enjoy ourselves, the ground changed once again, this time, sloshing beneath our feet.

The new snow was not as soft as before, but it was not firm either. We were in a state of in between, a middle ground. Our journey continued to present rough patches followed by captivating sights. Once or twice you became distracted and let go of my hand. It was during these moments I was not sure where I was going, I lost myself. But you returned. You never failed to bring me back to you. I always knew where I was when we were together. When we walked hand in hand through the wilderness of Montana, your eyes, your gaze, drew me in every time. I knew I loved you and I knew I always would.

That was then, however. We didn’t know what lie ahead. Such pain, such loss. No field of flowers hidden in the snow could prepare us for that. The day in the hospital replays over and over again in my mind. Her name would have been Gabriella. I still love her. I still miss her. I tell Zoe about her. Sometimes we talk about what Gabi would have been like. Would she be blonde or dark? Loud or quiet? Tall or short? Do you ever wonder?

You and I also talk about Gabi often. Communication strengthens us. We are continually growing. Family. We walk hand in hand in hand. We walk close together through the streets of Madison. When I grow tired, you hold me in your arms. When I talk, you listen.

four days of my life.

this is how i spent the last 4 days of my life.

thursday: school, tiger tunes.
friday: contemporary world, taco bell, nothing, nothing, nothing, wendy's,sat in the student center, shared life stories, saw mario and luigi, slept.
satuday: chic, homecoming [we left wayy early], nothing, made lots of hilar videos with susannah, drove around creepy roads, ran through a field of soybeans, watched hannah montana, slept.
sunday: woke up late, went to Christian Ministries [baller], went to the Kream Kastle, and the rest is boring


but anyways. this weekend was amazing. the end.

lessons? ha!

so i was talking to a friend just now and she asked me what i have learned this year. this is what came out of that:

i've learned that if you study, you will get better grades. it's not fun to have a wreck. time management is key. music is also key. you can have a best friend of the opposite sex, but not without the risk of people questioning you about it. and college is coming soon.

those are my life lessons from this year so far. things are going to great. school is still hard, but that's to be expected.

okayyyyy.


song: i swear i mean it this time by mayday parade

woah man.

so remember that time that i kind of freaked out a little bit when my eight-year-old brother asked me if i knew where i wanted to go to college? and i didn't know? yeahh woahhh. and this month i'm taking te PSAT, the ACT, and registering for the SAT. and there are 2 college fairs. i'm going on college visits. talking to reps coming to my school.

when did this all happen? since when am i supposed to be ready for college? i mean, don't get me wrong, i'm sooo excited. but dang, all of a sudden it seems like i have to have good test scores and be accept to college right now. which i know is not true. i just didn't realize how much of a hassle all of this was. phew.

okay i just had to get that out. i'm off to college fair number one: Christian College Fair at my school. since i'm on the college rep squad i will be meeting with the reps as they come in, showing them their stations, and counting attendance. woop-dee-doo.


song of the week: If My Heart Was a House by Owl City

BONUS SONG: Your Love is Extravagant by The Almost

class notes.

i don't know who even reads this but i'm going to share this with you anyways. because this is the story of my life right now. it's hilarious. these are my notes from history in the raw. no editing or anything. enjoy.

APUSH
-i don't have my notes:
-Henry VIII is stupid
-Catherine of Aragon = first wife
-they are all related
-remember that time when Henry killed all of his wives? yeah, he's dumb.
- Catherine + Henry = Mary

[insert drawing of Austin with another girl and Sarah crying on the ground]

-plans for Memphis:
-Billie and Mike can chaperone, but not Lisa
-Graceland = too much $$
-civil war museum, maybe we'll go to rhodes
-meet at ihop that morning :]

Anne Boelyn = scandalous!
-Henry + Anne = Elizabeth

-it would really help if i had my notes today

homework:
-aplit ASP quiz tomorrow; vocab test monday
-apcal hw and quiz friday
-apush vocab and notes, test tuesday

PURITANS? dumb.
-why do people draw dead guys on kun hee's paper?
-Anne Boelyn locked in Tower of London
-Henry + Jane Seymour = Edward
-died in childbirth ^
-Henry + Anne of Cleaves = 0
-Edward became king at age 9. he was sickly
-how old was Tut?
-Ed died @ 15
-Mary is next

Rosemary = freaking scary. I'm so glad, so very glad i don't have her!! Buchanan = baller

bloody mary. not the cocktail.
[insert doodle of man burning on stake here]
the puritans were kind of the only sane people back then. everyone else was craycray.

TUDORS > STUARTS
-James 1603
-Charles 1625

Let's do this
-not all Purtians are Pilgrims
-DUTCH are stupid
-Amsterdam had many temptations
JOINT STOCK!

[sidenote: sarah LOVES austin's haircut]

HOLD IT!
[insert visual here]
got cha.

-alas. winter is coming. whatever shall you do. they were hardcore and wrote a compact. vote.
-we have 20 dang minutes! ah!
-thanksgiving because they are lucky to be alive.
-Meredith has a district of columbia quarter and we just made a birthday cake analogy. Rosemary gave Jack a boiled egg for his b-day.
-Aly has a boyfriend in college. that's why Trent spanked her.
-she got a stash!
-Walker wants to go out with Jack?
-"That was awkward."
-Massachusetts Bay Colony = pro for both sides

[sidenote: i am one of 2 people in the 13 person class not in some kind of relationship. BALLER]

-City on a Hill
-6 flags over Jesus?
-bacon?
-well this class just got really boring again.
-Lil Red just called Mrs. Griffin. but not really.

the college post.

this is where i write to tell you all about the beginnings of my college search. i'll preface by saying that i have been set on going to OBU for about 3 years now... kay. so yesterday my best friend's mom was over, and we were all talking about colleges. so she and my mom came up with a list of colleges i could consider. that list is: Stanford, Rhodes, Vanderbilt, NYU, Pepperdine, Wash U, SMU, Princeton, Hendrix... plus a couple more. they decided that they wanted me to aim higher than OBU. which is understandable. i am fully capable of going to any of these schools. it's just a HUGE wake-up call, because i haven't ever actually thought of having to look at colleges a whole lot before now. it's also a wake up call for my attitude towards high school. i take AP classes, and i have at least a 4.0 but i really don't try my best. i just kind of do what i can to get by. i'm gonna have to step it up. haha. but for real. ummm there was something else i was going to say. oh yeahhh. if you noticed, besides Hendrix, the closest any of these schools are to LR is 2 hours. and quite a few of them would be over a 24 hour drive away. that's far. the thing is, being far from here doesn't seem to bother me. i would think it would... but it's exciting. going into something completely new would be so exhilerating to me. i'm ready for adventures. we are planning trips to visit.

let's do this.





song: The Unaviodable Battle of Feeling on the Outside. FM Static.