college is a new chapter.
so, i've made a new blog.
walkrunlife.blogspot.com
enjoy, friends :]
12.18.2011
10.09.2011
gingko.
i have a favorite tree. it's in Little Rock. it is a yellow gingko tree. sometime soon i am going to drive around Fayetteville searching for a tree like it. the only one i've ever seen is the one back home. i don't know what it is about this tree in the fall that gets me...
honestly, several times last fall i made trips to the street that this tree was on for no reason other than just to see it. i always wanted to stop and take a picture. but i never did. i wanted to be sure that i could get the best quality picture and i always made excuses as to why, if i had taken it at any certain moment, it wouldn't have been good enough.
i have searched and searched the internet for a decent picture. one that resembles my tree.
nothing. the best thing i've found is this:
but, this honestly looks nothing like the scene i'm picturing. this tree is the only tree in the yard and when it starts to turn yellow, you can help but look at it...
i'm sure there is something deep and philosophical i could say here, but i don't want to take the time to think about it. i just want to tell you about my tree.
honestly, several times last fall i made trips to the street that this tree was on for no reason other than just to see it. i always wanted to stop and take a picture. but i never did. i wanted to be sure that i could get the best quality picture and i always made excuses as to why, if i had taken it at any certain moment, it wouldn't have been good enough.
i have searched and searched the internet for a decent picture. one that resembles my tree.
nothing. the best thing i've found is this:
but, this honestly looks nothing like the scene i'm picturing. this tree is the only tree in the yard and when it starts to turn yellow, you can help but look at it...
i'm sure there is something deep and philosophical i could say here, but i don't want to take the time to think about it. i just want to tell you about my tree.
9.20.2011
products.
i am learning about productivity. "getting stuff done" doesn't necessarily have to mean doing homework. during the past two days i have gotten more things done than... well... than i have in a long time. i took a nap. i studied at starbucks. i crafted [see pictures below]. i took a study break with friends. i spent some time in solitude. i read. i listened to a LOT of music. i drank green tea. i went to breakfast with a dear friend. i took two quizzes. i organized my planner. i re-organized half of my room. i did laundry. i bought a new cd.
i could keep going. but, i don't really want to. my productivity right now is going to be eating a few goldfish, taking a shower, and going to sleep.
when i have time, i want to tell you about a precious new friend. it'll be worth the read, promise.
oh, here's the pics:
see that nasty blank wall? yeah, well it's been completely blank since we moved in. it was driving me crazy! so i made a couple things and i'll all kinds of kappa stuff to cover my walls... it's key sis reveal this weekend!
okay,
blessings.
i could keep going. but, i don't really want to. my productivity right now is going to be eating a few goldfish, taking a shower, and going to sleep.
when i have time, i want to tell you about a precious new friend. it'll be worth the read, promise.
oh, here's the pics:
see that nasty blank wall? yeah, well it's been completely blank since we moved in. it was driving me crazy! so i made a couple things and i'll all kinds of kappa stuff to cover my walls... it's key sis reveal this weekend!
okay,
blessings.
9.07.2011
omkkg.
college is fun. i am enjoying it.
the Lord has already blessed me with incredible people around me. i LOVE kappa. my classes aren't hard.
basically, this is the life.
let's rock.
the Lord has already blessed me with incredible people around me. i LOVE kappa. my classes aren't hard.
basically, this is the life.
let's rock.
8.12.2011
seasons.
never in my life have i experienced a change of season this distinct.
camp. i could write a novel about this summer and what it meant to me. through learning how to love and serve, i learned a lot about myself that i would have never known.
a dear friend wrote me a letter at the end of the summer. in the letter she wrote "I saw a beautiful woman who was hiding, confused, nervous, timid, depressed, reserved. and i watched her be herself, grow, i watched her gain confidence, walk in joy, overcome insecurity, trust people, love people, understand and trust God." reading this and looking back now, i can't believe the place i was in 5 weeks ago. that has never been me. i have never dealt with insecurities that strong. i haven't felt depression in years. somehow in the middle of the best 9 weeks i could have ever asked for, i found myself in a strange, unfamiliar place. a place i honestly didn't know how to get out of. it took God breaking me down in the middle of worship during a Monday staff meeting. i had to be broken in order to let down the walls i didn't even know were there so He could come in.
i learned that i don't trust people--i don't let them in. i learned that i am easily swayed by insecurities. i learned that my flesh is super concerned with approval. BUT, i also learned how to trust God. i learned that everything in my life has happened for a specific purpose. i learned that man's approval does not matter--God approves of what i do. He sees everything i am doing and He is pleased... i didn't just hear these concepts. no. i LEARNED them. after several weeks of giving in to and listening to the lies the enemy was telling me to get me down, something FINALLY clicked.
God used the people around me to teach me trust. i never even knew i had a trust issue. i always wondered why i longed for deeper relationships with people but could never seem to attain them. God used someone close to me to call that out in my life and showed me what it could be like when i trust people.
i am not really sure what i could say to wrap up the summer. it was perfect. i could not have asked for a better two months. i was filled up and poured out more times than i can count, but it was ALWAYS worth it. the Lord's favor on my life was evident, and i am so blessed to have spent this summer as an AC.
but now, i am moving to Fayetteville. tomorrow. for the most part i couldn't be more excited. but, honestly, part of me is scared out of my mind. i know that God will give me the strength to live out everything i've said and taught this summer, but in my mind there will always be a "what if?" what if i mess up? what if i get lazy? what if? another part of me is nervous about trusting people in college. who can you trust? it would be so easy for me to not let anyone in. but i would be miserable.
i think i am just nervous because i am unsure. all of this is a mystery to me. as much as people try to prepare me for college, i won't know until i am there. tomorrow. it's crazy.
"...he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion..."
i will abide by this verse. the Lord started something HUGE in me. and while it is strange that this season is over. i know that his work will carry over into the next. as scary as it may be, the Lord will continue to work on my life in Fayetteville.
He is faithful.
and He is good.
camp. i could write a novel about this summer and what it meant to me. through learning how to love and serve, i learned a lot about myself that i would have never known.
a dear friend wrote me a letter at the end of the summer. in the letter she wrote "I saw a beautiful woman who was hiding, confused, nervous, timid, depressed, reserved. and i watched her be herself, grow, i watched her gain confidence, walk in joy, overcome insecurity, trust people, love people, understand and trust God." reading this and looking back now, i can't believe the place i was in 5 weeks ago. that has never been me. i have never dealt with insecurities that strong. i haven't felt depression in years. somehow in the middle of the best 9 weeks i could have ever asked for, i found myself in a strange, unfamiliar place. a place i honestly didn't know how to get out of. it took God breaking me down in the middle of worship during a Monday staff meeting. i had to be broken in order to let down the walls i didn't even know were there so He could come in.
i learned that i don't trust people--i don't let them in. i learned that i am easily swayed by insecurities. i learned that my flesh is super concerned with approval. BUT, i also learned how to trust God. i learned that everything in my life has happened for a specific purpose. i learned that man's approval does not matter--God approves of what i do. He sees everything i am doing and He is pleased... i didn't just hear these concepts. no. i LEARNED them. after several weeks of giving in to and listening to the lies the enemy was telling me to get me down, something FINALLY clicked.
God used the people around me to teach me trust. i never even knew i had a trust issue. i always wondered why i longed for deeper relationships with people but could never seem to attain them. God used someone close to me to call that out in my life and showed me what it could be like when i trust people.
i am not really sure what i could say to wrap up the summer. it was perfect. i could not have asked for a better two months. i was filled up and poured out more times than i can count, but it was ALWAYS worth it. the Lord's favor on my life was evident, and i am so blessed to have spent this summer as an AC.
but now, i am moving to Fayetteville. tomorrow. for the most part i couldn't be more excited. but, honestly, part of me is scared out of my mind. i know that God will give me the strength to live out everything i've said and taught this summer, but in my mind there will always be a "what if?" what if i mess up? what if i get lazy? what if? another part of me is nervous about trusting people in college. who can you trust? it would be so easy for me to not let anyone in. but i would be miserable.
i think i am just nervous because i am unsure. all of this is a mystery to me. as much as people try to prepare me for college, i won't know until i am there. tomorrow. it's crazy.
"...he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion..."
i will abide by this verse. the Lord started something HUGE in me. and while it is strange that this season is over. i know that his work will carry over into the next. as scary as it may be, the Lord will continue to work on my life in Fayetteville.
He is faithful.
and He is good.
5.31.2011
nine week trip.
it's almost that time. most of you who read this were in my same spot just a couple years ago. i am currently in the process of packing for my first full summer at camp. it's a good thing i started early, because as i pack, i find more and more things that i need. just when i thought i had it all...
anyway, someone should have told me just how much stuff it would be. i mean, look at this:
that isn't even including all of my hanging clothes, shoes, or guitar. yes, some of that will be condensed when it comes closer to Monday, but SERIOUSLY?! i'm not sure Russell can handle all of that. good thing it's only an hour drive.
okay that's enough of that, just thought i'd share my excitement and surprise!
anyway, someone should have told me just how much stuff it would be. i mean, look at this:
that isn't even including all of my hanging clothes, shoes, or guitar. yes, some of that will be condensed when it comes closer to Monday, but SERIOUSLY?! i'm not sure Russell can handle all of that. good thing it's only an hour drive.
okay that's enough of that, just thought i'd share my excitement and surprise!
5.09.2011
right left right
i already wrote this once. but it didn't do my feelings justice. as usual, someone else wrote a song that does a better job expressing my thoughts than i can.
Marchin On - Onerepublic
for those days we felt like a mistake//those times love's what you hate//somehow we keep marchin on//for those nights when i couldn't be there//i've made it harder to know that you know//that somehow we'll keep moving on//there's so many wars we fought//there's so many things we're not//but with what we have i promise you that we're marching on//marching on//for all of the plans we've made//there isn't a flag i'd wave//don't care if we bend//i'd sink us to swim//we're marching on//for those doubts that swirl all around us//for those lives that tear at the seams//we know we're not what we've seen//for this dance we'll move with each other//there ain't no other step that one foot right in front of the other//there's so many wars we fought//there's so many things we're not//but with what we have i promise you that we're marching on//marching on//for all of the plans we've made//there isn't a flag i'd wave//don't care if we bend//i'd sink us to swim//we're marching on//right, right, right, right left right//marching on//we'll have the days we break//we'll have the scars to prove it//we'll have the bonds that we save//but we'll have the heart not to lose it//for all the times we stopped//for all the things i'm not//we put one foot in front of the other//we move like we ain't got no other//we go when we go, we're marching on
this song is the perfect anthem for the transition from one stage of life to another. i know many of us are in similar places. whether it's high school graduation, college graduation, finishing a master's. wherever you are, keep marching on.
peace.
Marchin On - Onerepublic
for those days we felt like a mistake//those times love's what you hate//somehow we keep marchin on//for those nights when i couldn't be there//i've made it harder to know that you know//that somehow we'll keep moving on//there's so many wars we fought//there's so many things we're not//but with what we have i promise you that we're marching on//marching on//for all of the plans we've made//there isn't a flag i'd wave//don't care if we bend//i'd sink us to swim//we're marching on//for those doubts that swirl all around us//for those lives that tear at the seams//we know we're not what we've seen//for this dance we'll move with each other//there ain't no other step that one foot right in front of the other//there's so many wars we fought//there's so many things we're not//but with what we have i promise you that we're marching on//marching on//for all of the plans we've made//there isn't a flag i'd wave//don't care if we bend//i'd sink us to swim//we're marching on//right, right, right, right left right//marching on//we'll have the days we break//we'll have the scars to prove it//we'll have the bonds that we save//but we'll have the heart not to lose it//for all the times we stopped//for all the things i'm not//we put one foot in front of the other//we move like we ain't got no other//we go when we go, we're marching on
this song is the perfect anthem for the transition from one stage of life to another. i know many of us are in similar places. whether it's high school graduation, college graduation, finishing a master's. wherever you are, keep marching on.
peace.
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